Funny questions asked about Australia

The following questions were apparently asked on an Australian tourism website, and the answers are those given by the website officials..
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Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: It depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
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Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? (USA)
A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir performs every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is ILLEGAL.
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia , but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France)
A: Only at Christmas time.
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Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

More, more, I need more of this s***!!!

Q: Do crocodiles walk down the streets in Australia?
A: Well, um, yes actually sometimes they do: [COLOR=blue]Drivers shocked as croc takes a walk[/COLOR]

Sorry for off topic, but can you maybe tell me what "s***" means?

Hi delphin22,

In English slang, "shlt" often means "stuff" or "things". For example: "I had to clean all the shlt out of my house today because I'm moving to a new place this weekend."

Hope that helps

I get the impression that here in Germany "Schelße" is normally used in a more negative sense. Would everyone here agree?

Even on this forum there have been some real dumb-ass questions, like

Are there doctors/gynecologists in Australia?

Can you buy baby food in Australia?

Is there a prepaid mobile phone service?

Are there ATMs?

Can one go out and shoot Kangaroos or does one need permission?

And those that think they can drive around the whole country in 14 days...

If I come in on a tourist visa, can I just stay on permanently if I like the country?

Are there good schools in Australia?

Is there child care (Kindergarten) in Australia?

Will I be able to buy prescription medicines in Australia?

Yeah most of those are pretty dumb questions, but a couple are reasonable, I reckon:

> Is there a prepaid mobile phone service?
Fair question. Last year in Japan I found it impossible to find any prepaid mobile service, even with the help of a Japanese friend. That was a surprise though, of course.

> Can one go out and shoot Kangaroos or doe one need permission?
Half of the people who go out and shoot 'roos do it only for fun.

> And those that think they can drive around the whole country in 14 days...
Well it's possible.. if you REALLY like driving ... I know some people who drive from Sydney to Perth every year to visit their relatives.. 4 people sharing the driving, only stopping for fuel, and it takes them less than 3 days..

Zitat

Original von cbk

As I drove on Highway 1 my first time I ever thought that I was driving in the wrong direction. The signs said, that the direction was right, but my feeling was different.

It took my about an hour to recognize, that in Australia the sun is in the north at noon and not in the south.

It's also strange if you have always lived on the east coast, and go to the west coast for the first time - "Hey why is the sun going down over the ocean?!"

haha

Now THAT'S more like it! The world as it should be..