After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe
sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems and document their repairs
on the form. Here are some maintenance complaints submitted
by pilots and the solutions recorded by the engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
E: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
E: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
E: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
E: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
E: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
E: Evidence removed.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
E: That's what they're for.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
E: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
E: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
E: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
E: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
E: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
E: Took hammer away from midget
