Hi all,
after reading about the new european english (i know, spelling's wrong now),
here's some fine samples of divine australian language.


I'm hungry:

"I could eat the crotch out of a leper's undies."
"So hungry I could eat the arse out of a low flying duck."

I'm thirsty:

"I'm dry as a dingo's donger."
"I'm drier than a nuns nasty."
"I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat."


I need to go for a pee:

"Gonna drain me dragon."
"My back teeth are floating."
"Need to syphon the python."
"Time to splatter the bladder."
"Shake hands with the wife's best friend."


I need to have a poo:

"I gotta go give birth to a Kiwi."
"I'm takin' a stroll to the gravy bowl."
"Have to hang a brown bear in the porcelain cave."
"There's a brown dog barking at the back door."
"Taking out the garbage."
"Release the Chocolate hostage"
"i gotta lay some cables for telstra"


Vomit:

"Calling for George."
"I was driving the porcelain bus this morning."
"I left him a lawn pizza."
"Toss a tiger on the carpet."
"Gotta go Ralph"


Insults:

"About as useful as tits on a bull."
"May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down."
"He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock."
"Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery."
"About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition."
"A stubbie short of a six pack."
"Tighter than a fish's arse."
"As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp."
"Mate, she's as rough as a pigs breakfast."
"An arse like two pigs fighting in a sugar bag."



Here it's also possible to listen (and watch):

abc.net.au/tv/adamhillsIGST/vi…0April%206&autostart=true

(From min. 27, but the rest is worth watching too)